I have little faith in healthcare officials. i lost it at my psychatists office this morning. I called yesturday and conviently she wasn't in the office, as fucking always. I was having panic attacks all night sunday and all day monday. I needed something and the only thing i had to take is a fuckign antihistamine that is supposed to help with nervousness. It's garbage and does nothing. So i got no help from her. i called my doctors office and he was no help either, because he wouldn't fill anything for me either. So i went into my appoinment with my psychiatrist this morning, still feeling the same. And she starts in on the fact that i'm not in therapy and she starts yelling at me about it. I don't need this shit. Then she refuses to fill something for me. I told her i understood that i'm supposed to be in therapy but i can't fucking afford it. I spend 100 dollars a month alone on prescriptions and it costs me forty bucks just to see my psychiatist for 15 minutes a month. I don't have the fucking money for this shit. So she refuses to fill anything for me to calm down on the grounds that i'm not in therapy. Well i'm having a fucking breakdown, i'm losing it. My stomach is in knots and i can't eat or sleep, what does she expect me to do? Fucking call my therapist and go in right then and there? Long story short, i stormed out of there. She left me with the only option which was to go to the hospital, which i didnt do and why 48 hours later i'm still sitting here anxious as fuck.

i will never see this woman again, i dont care how long it takes me to find a new psychatist, she has been nothing but trouble for me since i first started seeing her. People with mental health conditions need to be able to get a hold of theres psychs. They should be able to get something to fucking calm down when they need. They shouldn't be sent to the fucking hospital every fucking time they have an anxiety attack. She should be the least bit capable of talking to me so i can calm down, and she proved today when all she said was, "The tissues are over there," she can't do that. fucking bitch.