Wednesday, September 4, 2013

I don't know if I posted on here that my parents are leaving. They are quitting their jobs, sold their house and at the end of this month moving down to Florida with no set home, work or anything really. It's very much out of character but then again, most of the decisions they have been making over the past couple of years have made little to no sense to me either. Yesterday they showed a side that really pissed me off. Mark's grandfather passed away after a too short battle with cancer. A few months ago Mark's parents wanted to throw us a wedding party. Even under the difficult circumstances, with pop's diagnosis, going on hospice, etc, they still insisted on throwing us a party, but about two weeks ago, they realized they just could not do it. At first Mark and I were upset, kind of mad because we couldn't get any straight answers out of them, mad because they insisted and then suddenly about a month before the wedding we had to make new plans, but once his mother actually came over and talked it over with us, we were more than understanding. So my mom said she would throw a wedding shower for me and Mark would have a sort of bachelor party/BBQ in the back yard for his friends and family. Well that has been all well and good, until yesterday...

Mark's mom asked me the other day if the party was the more the merrier, of course it is, that's the impression my mom gave me, more people more money, gifts. Well, I tell her so and she hands me a list, so I send it to my mom to send out invites. My parents show up at the wake for pop yesterday, we are standing in line, by the coffin might I add, so they can pay their respects to the family and my mom starts going off about how Mark's mom invited soooo many people and she was supposed to be throwing the party in the first place and now she has all these extra mouths to feed. My mom has been telling me all along that we need to invite as many people as possible so we make some money, but because she didn't invite them this isn't ok? Then she gets mad because Mark isn't charging for tickets to his party, who would pay twenty bucks to hang out in our backyard for a while? And also, we were at the reason why Mark's mom couldn't throw the party in the first place, at a WAKE! How disrespectful can you get? And as I'm waiting for my dad to say, "Maybe this isn't the right time," he starts in with, "OH my godddd...why isn't the line moving..." like a child, like someone waiting in line at a fast food restaurant. I was furious....

I'm 24, and I seem to have more respect, manners and sympathy than either of them do. I'm grateful that they decided to throw me a wedding shower, do not get me wrong, but my mom is going about it so weird. It's all about the money, the envelopes, getting everything off the registry...doesn't she understand that this party means more than that to Mark and I? that we aren't having a wedding reception or church to do, we will be in Hawaii, alone. We want to see our families and friends and celebrate, and I really won't be pissed off if they show up empty handed. Yes, the money would be great because we could really use it for our new home and so we can actually enjoy our honeymoon, but that is not the reason we are getting together....

At first I was so upset to hear my parents were leaving, but over the past couple months, I feel like I need the time apart anyway. So many times I've talked to my mom about my relationship and had her turn not doing the dishes into he doesn't respect me, only to talk to my new friend, Linda, and have her say, "Do A, B and C and problem solved." I've relied on my parents, especially my mom, for so long, I guess I never really looked at or noticed certain things before that drive me nuts...

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