So i'm taking a page out of Alison's book and posting the things i am grateful for and also throwing in random things that make me go like this :). Things are finally starting to look up on this end. I started seeing a psychatrist and she put me on trazodone. It's been a week and I've had no side effects aside from a bit of drowsiness. Also, for the first time in three months I've gone almost a week without an anxiety attack and my racing thoughts are begining to slow down. I also have not cried...i can't believe it. It could be a sort of placebo effect because i know these meds take time to get the full effect but whatever it is, i'm happy(well i'm getting there). I've also began seeing a counseller and i'm hoping to plow through these emotional insecurites and I'm hoping that I'll have my life on track in due time. So here is my list, i warn you, it might get a bit lengthy...

Mark
My mom
My kitten
crayons
pokemon cards
having a car
guinea pigs
sushi
natalie portman
bob dylan
laughing until i start snorting
my nintendo dsi
star wars
charlie brown holiday specials
giraffes
doritos
wine
candles
writing
getting my nails done, hair did or eyebrows waxed
Mareesa
stickers
reading kurt vonnegut
being so moved from a song that i cry
my kindle
my ipod
animal planet
the poem "Howl"
going to school
Hello kitty
nesquik
cartoons
techno that makes me dance in my seat
Trips to cape cod
photography
menthol cigarettes

...ha...i feel pretty good...