Thursday, December 2, 2010

so sick of being screwed over

So i'm taking this history class and this bitch has given me nothing but problems. 17 essay question exams, a bitch of a final, a quiz every class...submitting everything online and having half of my assignments never go through. Well she had been going on and on about our cumulative final she never fucking mentioned an exam on the last few chapters. So tuesday i skipped class and worked on my research paper that i had been working on alll semester (which didnt get submitted because technology blows) and we had an exam that day! no forewarning or anything. Why schedule an exam the same fucking day a paper is due? AND THEN throw another exam at us next week. Plus, to prepare for these things she makes us get in groups and discuss, we can't write anything down and she doesnt answer our questions, how does that benefit us? So basically after jumping through hoops for this bitch all semester i am basically going to fail this class, after all this work...after wanting to just drop this class sooo many times. I'm pissed and mark is going to be pissed. And i worked sooo fucking hard. and i know she wont let me make it up...

I'm just exhausted. i cannot for the life of me drag myself out of bed. Finally went to the doctor yesturday, he upped the strength of my xanax because i keep having panic attacks and put me on zoloft, which kept me up all night last night AGAIN. Living with his parents is proving to be more challenging than i imagined. I'm afraid to eat their food because they might be saving it for someone else. Or i have to be extremly quiet after 9 o'clock because his dad is in bed. his mom talks to me everytime i step downstairs. And i still dont have a car. They are saying we have to build our credit and all this, they expect me to buy some crummy used car when they promised me a quality, basically new car for a low price from their neighbor and now they are taking back their word. I wish i listened to my parents and bought a new car...i wish they had room in their house so we could have moved there. I am so fucking miserable and on top of all this i cant even work without feeling myself begin to start shaking and my mind plays unwanted thoughts and axieties and i cant concentrate and i just wishing i could burst through the doors and scream i quit. i am so stuck i am fucking sick of it.

1 comment:

the Music of the Night said...

i think you and me should go de-stress at the gym lady! IT is amazing how much stress can be relieved at the gym! You can come with me to my gym for free whenever you want! FYI.