Monday, June 28, 2010

fuck my life

I am so fed up with my job its not even funny. My permanent schedule is not mon, tues, wed, friday (2-9) and i work on saturday. And to make matters worse, they put the schedule out three weeks in advance. Its July! people are going to need to ask for days off and now i cant. I cant do anything. I can't have a random beach day, or pick up and go out for a weekend because i work every weekend! i dont want to work weekends anymore, its not fair! I would be fine if i could at least get two days off together so if i want to go somewhere and actually enjoy my summer, i could. I mean seriously, Thursday and sunday? What the fuck? Those are the two worst days to have off. And on top of it, i find out that this girl who doesnt even deserve it and probably never even asked for days shift has gotten some! I have been asking for at least one day shift a week for months. I am one of the only people with open availability and work all these shit shifts all the fucking time! I'm so done with it. on top of that my manager has been such an ass to me lately. The job has been so stressful and with shit falling apart in my own personal life, i just don't have the patience to fake a smile and continue doing what i'm doing.

I'm so sick of not knowing what the hell i'm going to do with my life. After i found out Pokey was sick i gave up on everything. That three weeks i didnt smoke, gone, i'm back to a pack a day. Going to the gym 5 times a week, nope. Eating healthy? Oh god i have probably gained like 10 pounds in just this week. I'm falling apart. i'm not happy. i dont do anything with my life and i've been feeling just all around terrible. I never get to go out and have a good time. Nothing ever happens to me. When do i get to go out on little vacations like everyone else gets to take? wheres my beach day? When do i get to go hiking or actually feel like i have friends that i can spend time with? And maybe i'm just complaining...maybe i'm just frustrated but something in my life needs to change VERY soon or i'm going to lose it completly....


Eponine said...

Oh, darling. I don't miss the CVS bullshit at all. You need to get the hell out of there! It's hard to take the jump but believe me, you will feel INFINITELY better once you leave.


the Music of the Night said...

Chicklet, hang in there! I'm gonna talk to nate about the scheduling crap, i am even considering asking him about some other possible changes that i'm not posting here, I know it's hard, and love, if i am safely within 40 and you want a night off that i am not working let me know! I will do what I can for ya. I could probably do a wednesday if you want a wednesday/thursday off.We could work something out my sweet. As far as doing stuff, me and coral usually go on hikes at like 9 or 10am, so you are more then welcome to come play with us!! My goodness, just say when!
*hugs* Keep up the good work my sweet, everyone has rough spots, but i know you'll pull through it!
Love ya!